Monthly Archives: January 2012

Guest blogging on Let’s Get Digital

For those of you who follow me but haven’t yet cottoned on to the excellent indie advice site that is Dave Gaughran’s Let’s Get Digital, I’m guest posting over there today so you might like to pop along and check it out.

Dave is one of my most conscientious clients and has a lot of very sensible things to say about the state of the publishing industry at present. It is well worth subscribing to his blog, if you haven’t already! Also, be sure to grab a copy of his reference book Let’s Get Digital, which is packed with useful advice for indies. He has also just released his epic historical novel, A Storm Hits Valparaiso. With a voice reminiscent of de Bernieres or Garcia Marquez, it is well worth the read and very enlightening about South America’s wars of independence.


Posted by on January 26, 2012 in Uncategorized


Review Finding Site: Great Idea or Simply Insane-making?

It may be that I’m completely certifiable for even thinking about it, but I’ve decided that a really useful writers’ resource would be a site (name is yet to be confirmed), which allows indie authors to search for review sites that are suited to their content.

The idea was to collate information for a free ebook that would feature useful promotional information for indie authors. It will touch base on the basic pros and cons on some of the standard promo sites, Goodreads, LibraryThing etc, as well as list blogs and reviews sites that promote indie authors. I’d also like to include regular things like established blog tours, or annual blog hops.

Hopefully, this information will also be able to be included in the website, which will provide search functionality. The aim is to start collating the information in February to get things moving in March. If you know of a great review or promotional site, or if you review books yourself and wish to be involved, please visit my site and fill out the submission form. Inclusion is free and the ebook will also be free

Also, if you have any tips to add regarding promotional sites you’ve had great success with, please email me on I’d love to hear your success stories as the aim is to scatter quotes from authors (and a link to their books/author central site) throughout the ebook.

Once the website is up and running, if it is successful and receives a high hit rate, I’d also love to include paid advertising and promotions for approved (read vetted) author services and also a place where indie books can be featured and promoted.

If you’d like to be involved in any way, please let me know. I’ll be scratching together the material and funds in my spare time, with the potential of using fundit or crowdsourcing it to help get things moving. I’m excited about it, but also knowing I’ll have my work cut out for me.


Posted by on January 15, 2012 in Uncategorized


Spam-I-am. [My Dr. Suess-style homage to anti-spam]

That Spam-I-am,
That Spam-I-am,
I do not like that Spam-I-am.

Buy it! Buy it!
Won’t you try it?
You may like it. You will see.
Buy it! Buy it. Buy my book.
You can read it on a Nook.
You can read it on a Fire.
Buy it—it’s my heart’s desire.

I will not read it on a Nook!
I will not read it on a Fire!
I will not read your stupid book!
Revulsion’s all that you inspire.

But you can read it on a tram!
Would you read it on a tram?
Or on the train? While giving birth?
Anywhere on God’s green earth!

I will not read it with a baby,
that’s definitely, not even maybe!
I WILL not read it on a tram!
Please fuck off with all your spam.

You’ll read it on your Mac, I think.
Just go here, download this link.
Buy it! Buy it! Just you try it!
Or I’ll drive you to the drink.

On my Mac I will not read it!
Really, I just do not need it!
Quit it! Quit it! Just you look.
I will not buy your stupid book!

But I’ve reviews—reviews, you see!
Not one or two or even three.
Four stars—five after another.
Some not even from my mother.

I will not buy your stupid story.
I am not a fan of gory,
nor of romance, or of chick lit.
Seriously, I WILL NOT BUY IT!

But I self-edited several times,
removing all the indie crimes.
It’s good! I think it’s even GREAT.
Try it. Buy it, won’t you mate!

I’m not the mate you think I am.
Stop tweeting me your frigging spam.
And did you post it on my page?
That really put me in a rage.
Your bloody, shitty Spam-I-am
is all over the web. Goddamn!

Sample! Sample!
Please, I’ve ample.
You could even win this car,
if you give it a five-star.

I will not sample, nor review.
You cover seems to make me spew.
Your author profile’s just not cool.
And did you finish primary school?

Buy it! Buy it! Now it’s free.
Try it now, and you will see.
I know my grammar’s slightly shocking,
But I WILL BE Amanda Hocking.

Not paid. Not Free. Not with a Kindle.
Your spamming really is a swindle.
Your work sucks BAD, take it from me.
I’ll return it even when it’s FREE!

Well, here’s a gift. I DM’d you.
Pass it on to someone new.
Or read my blog and you’ll agree
The next big indie hit is me!

A gift! Well thanks, that can’t be bad.
I’ll use the voucher for my dad.
Buy him something else for Nook.
I will not, WILL NOT buy your book!

Like it! Like it, then. Or tag it.
Tweet it! Goodreads it! Just snag it.
Get it now—99 cents.
Come on, you’ll like it. It’s intense.

I will not like it! I won’t tag it!
I’d much rather just to bag it.
Might even put you on the list.
Of authors ALWAYS to be missed.

Try it on Sony? Mobipocket?
Come on! Help me to “John Locke-it”
Two more reviews and then I think,
I’ll put it on Pixel of Ink.

Not PoI, not KND.
I will not buy your book, you see.
You’ve done your dash.
You’re much too rash.
Why must you keep on spamming me?

You think I’m spamming?
I thought we were interacting.
My whole mail list I’m contacting.

Sigh! Just listen Spam-I-am,
You’re shouting, trolling, drive-by-shooting.
All I hear is your horn tooting.
All you do all day is cram,
my inbox full of all your spam.

Here’s a thought: just let me be.
Stop blasting your damn book at me.
If it’s worthy of my shelf,
I’ll find your bloody book myself.
Then if I like it, I’ll review it.
Honestly. There’s nothing to it.

Blog or tweet some other links,
stop spamming groups with stuff that stinks,
quit being pushy in your greed,
and I might keep you on my feed.
Just be truthful and polite,
and I might buy your book
… just might.


Tags: , , , ,