Entering the tunnel of luuurve

20 Jul

As part of a promotional virtual “tour” to try to convince readers to check out Cage Life, I’ve signed on to the Neverending Blog Tour, which means hosting a random indie author each week on my blog. Last week’s guest spot was allocated to romance writer Darlene Gibbs, writer of hot romance novels such as Love’s Slave and The Heir to Terror. So I thought I’d take this opportunity to ask her about writing love scenes.

Love scenes are always difficult to write and can be a source of derision, depending on whether they are open door, closed door or “door ajar.” I tend to avoid writing them as much as possible myself, but as I’m hoping to finish off a chick-lit romance I started 18 months ago, figured that I better go straight to the source and ask someone who writes them frequently. So here goes:

Darlene says:
Questions my readers often ask are:
Is it hard to write sex scenes?
How do you manage to make your sex scenes so real and yet not vulgar or coarse?

My answer is that, like any scene in my stories, I have to feel it. Sex to me is the icing on the cake of a true love story—as much a part of love as love itself. So when I’m writing a sex scene I try to feel the kind of love that makes a man want to be joined with a woman in a way only a man and a woman can be united. The kind of love can’t be expressed by words alone—it needs arms, legs and lips to express it.

When I’m writing a sex scene I think of how a woman feels when the only man she wants to be with wants to be with her, and her alone. I tap into the passion, the excitement, the pure exhilaration of sharing something only true lovers can. And when I write a sex scene, I think of my own life. I think of how much sex means to me, and of how special it is, how intimate. I think of becoming one with a sexual partner.

So, to all my readers, every sex scene in each of my books is well thought out, purposeful and concocted to communicate an intimacy that words struggle to convey.
I love “love” and sex is a part of it, which makes it easy for me to write about. It’s love, so to me it can’t be coarse or vulgar, only be beautiful and magical.

So there you have, straight from the mouth of a saucy, sexy hotstuff herself. You have to feel it and live it. And with that, I best take myself off for some … err … research! 😉

If you of you have any great tips on how to write steamy romance without any thrusting prongs or moist love tunnels involved, please share them in the comments. Alternatively, if you’ve read some truly cringe-worthy metaphors for “getting it on” feel free to share so we can all have a giggle.


Posted by on July 20, 2011 in Uncategorized


4 responses to “Entering the tunnel of luuurve

  1. Shéa MacLeod

    July 20, 2011 at 10:40 pm

    I also find a very large glass of wine helps. 😉 lol I find it tremendously hard to write sex scenes. Maybe I’d better read some of Darlene’s books for tips. 🙂

    • karincox

      July 20, 2011 at 11:50 pm

      I find wine helps most things! Sex scenes are really hard to get right. Thank goodness I haven’t had to write them much. My romance novel was more an idea that wouldn’t go away and it grew into a chick lit romance, which surprised even me. I don’t tend to read a lot of romance, although I did sneak a glance at my aunt’s Mills and Boons as a teenager. Lol.

  2. Tobi-Rose

    July 26, 2011 at 7:12 am

    I honestly love your explanation. I myself feel the exact same way when it comes to writing sex scenes. Even though I’m seventeen and have no experience in that field whatsoever. I know that seems extremely young to be writing a sex scene but I write them as a way to express pent up passion between characters that I couldn’t explain by simple description. I don’t favour raunchy and uncouth sex scenes, it makes everything seem…..fake and emotionless. I like to completely dive into a book, literally become apart of that world and when sex scenes are distasteful, it just kind of takes away from the romance. Unless it’s supposed to be that way.

    • karincox

      July 26, 2011 at 10:30 am

      It’s tough to write isn’t it, Tobi-Rose. I think sometimes the trick is to give a hint of the sexual side and focus on the romance elements rather than the nitty gritty, but I suppose that depends on genre too. I know I’m now looking forward to revisiting my chick-lit romance and working up some of those scenes.


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